A visit to the Evening Standard Theatre Awards 2014, at the London Palladium

I arrived at 11am, still fortified by the Mead had partaken of the night before, and quickly discovered that many of the ‘pens’ that are meant to herd mortals like cattle were already full.
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I quickly found a place along the barrier in the middle pen, which appeared to be isolated and far away from where the cars would arrive, and the entrance to the Palladium.

I sank into a deep despair, and vowed to take my revenge against all who have ever upset me, which at this point was almost everyone I have ever met.

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I consoled myself with the knowledge that even if I could not meet anyone, at least I would be able to see my fellow actors as they walked to the entrance, but then another wave of deep despair hit me as mortal peons began to assemble a covered walkway, and it seemed I would not witness anything.

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As the sun began to set, it took my dreams of being reunited with the mortal Tom Hiddleston with it.

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But then a kind man appeared and greeted me and told me I had the best seat in the house, as by chance I had picked a spot fit for a king! I was at the very place where the stars would exit their cars!

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As night fell my hopes began to grow once more… and cars finally began to arrive.

Among the first to arrive was the young screen and theatre actor, Luke Treadaway, who is probably best known for starring in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, for which he won an Olivier Award. Luke did not dally on the carpet so I have no photos of him outside his vehicle.

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Next to arrive was the lovely Gillian Anderson, who later that night went on to win Best Actress at the Awards ceremony.

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Mark Strong arrived next, who starred with me in the Jaguar #GoodToBeBad campaign. Mark was delightful company, I must say.

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Next to arrive was Andy Serkis, the wonderful star of the Lord of the Rings films, and Planet of the Apes films, and soon to be a appearing in the upcoming Marvel film Avengers: Age of Ultron!

I found him to be a complete gentleman who spent an awful long time greeting his many fans.

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I was briefly reunited with my War Horse costar Jeremy Irvine.

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I gave fashion tips to Anna Wintour, and now capes will be the height of fashion this spring.

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Fellow villain Magneto arrived to enormous cheers from the crowd. Apparently he is also known by the pseudonym Sir Ian Mckellan.

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Helen McCrory was a charming lady.

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Damian Lewis was very kind and spent some time signing for the crowds.

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Rose Tyler, who sometimes uses the name Billie Piper, was a delight!

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Here Billie Piper is hugging Helen McCrory.

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Oscar nominee Eddie Redmayne was present.

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Iain Glenn wore a glorious kilt!

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Professor X, aka James McAvoy, belied his hero alter ego and proved to be a lovely man…

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Although as this photo was taken he picked me up, said “This isn’t a pen!” and put me back down. I must say I feared for my life.

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Anna Kendrick chatted to fans for some time. She was a lovely young lady.

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Now I am rather confused by this next chap. Everyone was screaming “Benedict!” and apparently he does go by the name of Benedict Cumberbatch in some circles, but I know him as both Sherlock Holmes AND Doctor Strange. Perhaps he actually has a twin and I am confusing Holmes & Strange?

Anyway, this ‘Benedict’ spent a very long time with the gathered mortals. I found him delightful.

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A surprise attendee was Mr David Beckham. he was very nice, and asked to borrow my pen, and promised he would return it, which he did. I am very glad he did, as it would be a shame to have punish him.

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Finally it seemed the moment had arrived. A car pulled off the road and onto the carpet and the crowd in the pen at the far end of the street began to scream. It was a two seater Jaguar and it could be only one person…

Thomas had finally arrived!

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Finally I was reunited with the mortal who shares my extraordinarily beautiful features. We posed for a photo together, but we look so alike I am not sure which one is me and which is him.

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Thomas was kind enough to sign a photo from my then forthcoming project, Brick High-Rise, and was amused by the image.

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After Thomas spent a long while signing for the crowd he finally went inside and I left London feeling elated and a lot less likely to destroy Midgard… for a while at least.

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About Lego Loki 600 Articles
Lego Loki is an actor, film maker, and the author of Brick High-Rise. Follow him on twitter: @Loki_Lego

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