Mortals, I present a new drama in seven acts – Loki of Asgard: A Nativity Story. Please feel free to eat grapes and wear your bathrobe, as our story begins!
A long time ago, in a faraway town called Asgard, there lived a fair prince named Loki.
One day the angel Samuel appeared to the fair Loki, and he brought glad tidings, which is apparently allowed when you’re an angel…
Some time later, Loki got married to The Grandmaster, a man who came from far away, but he had an exceptional ship, that Loki may have stolen the codes for. And soon Loki was with child.
A few days later, there was a big commotion in the centre of the Asgard – a soldier had come to make an important announcement.
Now The Grandmaster was from a town which was miles away from Asgard, so that meant that he and Loki had to set off on a long journey to Sakaar.
When Loki and The Grandmaster arrived at Sakaar, all the inns seemed to be full. There was no room anywhere.
As he was with child, Loki could not sleep in the street, and with some trepidation they knocked on the door of the final inn.
Around Sakaar there were lots of little hills of trash, and some people lived there tending the food who weren’t fighters
And lo the angel Samuel appeared to them, with glad tidings!
And the shepherds decided to follow the collapsing neutron star inside of an Einstein-Rosen Bridge to find the baby Jesus, and more booze.
Meanwhile, on Midgard, three wise kings were enjoying a typical night at Avengers tower, when the angel Samuel appeared to them.
And the Wise King Captain of America did agree to heed the angel Samuel’s words, and they decided to follow the star.
And so the three wise kings prepared for their long Quinjet flight to Sakaar.
The wise kings arrived at the stable where the fair Loki and the newborn babe resided.
King Stark and King Captain America presented their gifts first.
And then wise king Vision brought the gift of enchanted hand tools.
And the wonderful gifts were much appreciated. Some more than others….
And finally the fair prince Loki presented the beautiful babe he had born, and proclaims him king of all the nine the realms!
And now the cast take a final bow and wish all who celebrate a wonderful Christmas!