The Tragedy of LEGO Hamlet, Prince of Denmark – Act 5, Scene 2, Part 2

LAERTES
Come, one for me.

HAMLET
I’ll be your foil, Laertes: in mine ignorance
Your skill shall, like a star i’ the darkest night,
Stick fiery off indeed.

LAERTES
You mock me, sir.

HAMLET
No, by this hand.

KING CLAUDIUS
Give them the foils, young Osric. Cousin Hamlet

KING CLAUDIUS
I do not fear it; I have seen you both:
But since he is better’d, we have therefore odds.

LAERTES
This is too heavy, let me see another.

HAMLET
This likes me well. These foils have all a length?
They prepare to play

OSRIC
Ay, my good lord.

KING CLAUDIUS
Richer than that which four successive kings
In Denmark’s crown have worn. Give me the cups;
And let the kettle to the trumpet speak,
The trumpet to the cannoneer without,
The cannons to the heavens, the heavens to earth,
‘Now the king dunks to Hamlet.’ Come, begin:
And you, the judges, bear a wary eye.

They play

HAMLET
One.

LAERTES
No.

HAMLET
Judgment.

OSRIC
A hit, a very palpable hit.

LAERTES
Well; again.

KING CLAUDIUS
Our son shall win.

QUEEN GERTRUDE
He’s fat, and scant of breath.

HAMLET
I dare not drink yet, madam; by and by.

QUEEN GERTRUDE
Come, let me wipe thy face.

LAERTES
My lord, I’ll hit him now.

KING CLAUDIUS
I do not think’t.

LAERTES
[Aside] And yet ’tis almost ‘gainst my conscience.

HAMLET
Come, for the third, Laertes: you but dally;
I pray you, pass with your best violence;
I am afeard you make a wanton of me.

LAERTES
Say you so? come on.

They play

OSRIC
Nothing, neither way.

LAERTES
Have at you now!

LAERTES wounds HAMLET; then in scuffling, they change rapiers, and HAMLET wounds LAERTES

KING CLAUDIUS
Part them; they are incensed.

HAMLET
Nay, come, again.

OSRIC
Look to the queen there, ho!

HORATIA
They bleed on both sides. How is it, my lord?

OSRIC
How is’t, Laertes?

LAERTES
Why, as a woodcock to mine own springe, Osric;

QUEEN GERTRUDE falls

KING CLAUDIUS
She swounds to see them bleed.

Dies

LAERTES
The treacherous instrument is in thy hand,
Unbated and envenom’d: the foul practise
Hath turn’d itself on me lo,

All
Treason! treason!

KING CLAUDIUS
O, yet defend me, friends; I am but hurt.

HAMLET
Here, thou incestuous, murderous, damned Dane,
Drink off this potion. Is thy union here?
Follow my mother.

KING CLAUDIUS dies

Dies

HAMLET
Give me the cup: let go; by heaven, I’ll have’t.

Dies

Exeunt, bearing off the dead bodies

The cast of LEGO Hamlet take a bow

Thank you for joining me.