Back in 2012, to coincide with the release of the first Avengers movie, several sets of tie-in LEGO were released, three of which featured the single greatest LEGO minifigure in all of creation: me.
To coincide with the release of the sequel, Avengers: Age of Ultron, LEGO have released several more sets, and many of the previously featured characters have been redesigned. Let us investigate!
LEGO Thor
Here we see old LEGO Thor and new LEGO Thor side by side.
Aside from a few minor clothing changes, to reflect the updated costume of the film, Thor remains largely the same, apart from one major change…
Look at that face. Grinning away like an idiot who is about to smash all your drinking vessels, and then charge into Jotunheim to kill an entire race, just to satisfy his own insane blood lust. Honestly, who would do such a thing? Such a person is not fit to sit upon the throne of Asgard, so it is with cheer in my heart that I remember that ’twas I, Lego Loki, who stopped Thor from gaining throne! Some Asgardians and some Jotuns died, but that was of little consequence. Death to all Jotuns!
Wait, where was I?
Oh yes, I was discussing the base ugliness of Thor…. Once again Thor has a double sided head, and this is his angry face. I am quite used to seeing this face as he often uses it when he tries to thwart my plans when I am innocently minding my own business, and then Thor just appears for no reason and tells me I can’t kill an entire race, or that it is somehow bad to lead an army against Midgard.
And people wonder why I hate him.
There is, however, one major issue with new Thor: his cape.
It is made of a strange flimsy material, which appears to be the future of LEGO capes, as LEGO Vision’s cape is also made from the same fabric. I, for one, am unimpressed with this new design, as it has a tendency to ride up around the neck, and I doubt they will be as durable as the old design stiff capes.
Oh no… Thor is upset that I have insulted his cape. Cheer up, brother. At least you no longer look like this…
The winner: I declare NEITHER Thor victorious, because Thor always wins in battle, then drags me to the tavern and tells long winded, drunken stories all night. I have no wish to join you, brother! Send the mead to my chambers and I shall drink it alone.
LEGO Black Widow
Ah, the widow. I am happy to say that when I encountered her I did indeed best her in a battle of wits, and that I in no way revealed any of my plans to her by accident. Revealing that I intended to unleash the beast? Oh… Um, that was part of the plan.
I must admit I am rather fond of the new Black Widow. Her costume has had some minor changes, and her eyebrows are a new colour, although her face remains largely unchanged, but her new hair is quite wonderful.
The winner: I declare new Black Widow victorious!
LEGO Captain America
The soldier… With addition of new straps and gloves, the new Captain is much more detailed than his old 2012 incarnation, but his new facial appearance leads me to ask one question: why are the new LEGO Avengers so happy? First Thor is smiling, and now the Captain? Is Ultron perhaps attempting to tickle them to death in this film? Perhaps I shall try that tactic next…
I also have one issue with new Captain America: his Shield. The 2012, on the left, is a darker shade of red. The 2015 shield is a much brighter shade of red, and to me it looks somehow cheap and not befitting a mighty warrior such as Captain Rogers.The winner: I declare new Captain America victorious! The extra details on his torso outweigh my issues with the shield.
LEGO Hawkeye
Ah, my little Hawk. How I miss those many hours we spent together and all the plans we made for you to be my chief supervisor of capes when I was finally king of Midgard.
Do you regret it? Right now you could have been pressing my spring capes, as I received a foot massage from Fury… But, NO! You had to ruin it all!
It goes without saying really. New Hawkeye is more detailed in every single way, although he still has the old bow, which cannot be manoeuvred into any position which makes it look like he is firing an arrow.
The winner: New Hawkeye is victorious!
LEGO Hulk
The monster.
I still have nightmares about this creature. Since he smashed me into the marble of Stark’s gaudy abode I have grown to fear the colour green, but I have heard that there are laws upon Midgard that will allow me to gain recompense and I shall be calling InjuryLawyers4U as soon as I find a phone that will work via the Bifrost. What is that you say? My cape is green, so how can I fear green? Well, I shall simply be sure not to wear it to court that day! Ehehehe!
Everything about new LEGO Hulk is an improvement. From his hair, to his facial expression, to his more realistic colour. He now actually looks like the Hulk, so much so that it is causing me distress to look upon him.
The winner: I declare new Hulk victorious!
And now the grand prize! Who will win in the battle of old LEGO Avengers vs new LEGO Avengers?
And the overall winner is….. the old 2012 LEGO sets, because I am not in the new ones.
Ehehehe! I jest. The answer is obvious. The new LEGO Avengers: Age of Ultron sets are the victor!And since I now rule the Avengers Tower I declare MYSELF victorious over all!